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Defining moments,
though sometimes shocking and traumatic,
are moments when you can re-define
who you can be.

Your shadow
is not there to
create darkness,
but to enable you
to find your light
behind it.

In truth, your destiny lies ahead of you like a path of sleeping seeds,
waiting for you to tend them with the water
of your consciousness.
You do not have to do that,
but then you must accept a life without flowers.

Your life belongs to you.
not because you do not deserve
any better, but
because you are the only one
in the whole world
who can make something of it
and in so doing,
fulfill your life purpose.

Right now your power and freedom
lie in your ability
to define a new future rather than
 to linger on a past
that cannot be altered.

In this life,
our ultimate task may not be
to find pleasure,
but to find meaning.

The care you give yourself
Reflects your belief
Of what you deserve.

Your life is about so much more than what you do.
You are also here to become.
The potential for that transformation
lies hidden within the problems
you encounter.
And so your problems and challenges
are not here to hinder you,
But for you to
realize your Life Purpose

Could it be that your Life Purpose
is to meet your hardship,
your problems and your suffering
with dignity?

Crisis – a matter of Unknown Needs ?

You may be somewhat familiar with the concept of the Human Needs through Abraham Maslow’s ‘Hierarchy of Needs’. The Human Needs are our most powerful drivers. They determine our choices and our behavior. If necessary, you will compromise your beliefs and your values in order to meet your needs. But what if your needs have been ignored or denied? Let us examine the relationship between the occurrence of a crisis and suppressed needs.

 

Crisis as a Manifestation of Subconscious Needs

A crisis is defined as being ‘a time of intense difficulty or danger’.  Here, the emergency or calamity has reached a critical point. This can indicate a turning point, a cross roads with the necessity of making important decisions. Thus, a crisis harbours both danger and possibility.

A crisis hardly ever occurs suddenly, although it may appear to be a sudden development.

A crisis develops over time. Repeated warning signs, discomforts, and conflicts may   have been ignored, neglected or denied for some time. But the imbalance remains and intensifies until there is no longer merely an imbalance, but an emergency.

The occurrence of a crisis in one’s life is often the result of some fundamental needs that have been ignored, neglected or denied for a long time. Needs are not ‘wants’; they are absolute necessities and suppressed needs will eventually emerge as a crisis.

On a personal level, a crisis, be it in a relationship, in health, in finances or in one’s emotional life, represents neglected needs. Needs that have been ignored or denied for some time. 

 

What does your crisis hide?

If you are confronted with a crisis in some area in your life, it may be of help for you to consider: what are the needs within me that have been neglected and denied? Do I have a need for certainty, stability and safety? Do I have a need for belonging, for love and connection? Or maybe my need to express my unique self has been ignored? 

 

Childhood Deprivation

Needs indicate what we experience as lack. Your strongest needs represent what you feel is most missing, and those needs will define your behavior, your choices and your expectations.

In this, strong needs will likely represent what you experienced as most lacking in your childhood, and they run as a theme throughout your life. If, for example, you experienced abandonment or little or no love and connection as a small child, that deprivation could express itself in a understandable need for acknowledgment, acceptance, belonging and love. This need then translates into a certain behavior and as an expectation regarding relationships, or with regard to a social group you join and so forth.

Now, by stepping into any relationship out of strong needs, be it a personal relationship or a professional one, puts that relationship under pressure of the expectations you impose on it. Maybe for some time the relationship can answer those needs, or so it seems, but when the pressure continues, that one-sidedness will become detrimental. Then a crisis develops.

In order to understand the crisis and, eventually, to break the pattern, it can be helpful to recognize the needs that lie at the foundation of the imbalance. This could lead to a painful confrontation with childhood deprivations and you can, sometimes for the first time, really experience what you lacked in your emotional world as a young person. 

And yet this may well be the very thing that is necessary to break the pattern and for you to develop emotional freedom.

 

Conclusion

A time of crisis heralds the potential for renewal. HEART AND SOUL counselling will assist you in accessing the needs that are hidden behind your challenges. This will offer you insights into the underlying dynamics and make it possible for you to design and implement the necessary changes and developments, establishing a new inner balance and bringing happiness and fulfillment.

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